


The Breakup Bar

by violetholdsme



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Emotional Sex, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Moving On, Personal Growth, Praise Kink, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Strangers to Lovers, Waiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:47:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27438325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetholdsme/pseuds/violetholdsme
Summary: Hyunggu and Shinwon find each other at The Breakup Bar, and find themselves along the way too.
Relationships: Kang Hyunggu | Kino/Ko Shinwon, Other mentioned relationships
Comments: 11
Kudos: 61





	The Breakup Bar

**Author's Note:**

> the wonki tag deserves to be watered so !! here is a oneshot that's way longer than i intended but i hope it's fine
> 
> based on many many songs from sam smith's new album but mostly [dancing with a stranger](https://open.spotify.com/track/3xgT3xIlFGqZjYW9QlhJWp?si=R40ThyxeRBaJfvoOOr15WA).
> 
> enjoy~

It’s too loud.

 _No._ Hyunggu tries to shake the thought away furiously, sipping on his second glass of red wine for the night. He has to remind himself why he’s here: to move on, let go, throw caution to the wind and chase danger and be reckless and maybe get his heart broken just for the hell of it.

He was 23, for god’s sake. He needed to stop fantasizing about settling down with a lover in Paris or some shit. He went out tonight to finally have some fucking fun.

So no, it was _not_ too loud, and the noise was perfect. Maybe it’d take him a few more glasses of wine before he built up the courage to get wasted on something stronger, but he’ll get there soon enough.

Hansol had recommended him this bar after Hyunggu told him about his elaborate plan to finally break up with his long-term boyfriend, Wooseok. _You should go hang out at the ‘Breakup Bar,' maybe, get wasted or fool around. If you’re up for that sort of thing._ Hansol was concerned about how Hyunggu almost shrugged his shoulders at the suggestion without flinching, not a single ounce of emotion, just plain unbridled acceptance written on his features. 

The so-called “Breakup Bar” was actually called _Highlight_ , and it was owned by Hansol’s friend Wonwoo and his tall, puppy-like boyfriend, Mingyu. Hansol went on and on about how they started the business together because they found each other at a bar just like this one, while drinking and sulking over past loves. _How romantic._

Wonwoo and Mingyu didn’t really mean for it to happen _per se_ , but somehow Highlight became the place to go after a breakup to go dancing or get wasted or maybe even find someone to hook up with. Hence, _The Breakup Bar._ Sure, some people still just came for a good time, but everyone pretty much understood what the situation was if you came alone.

“So, how long?”

Hyunggu looked up from his glass to find the aforementioned Wonwoo looking at him, wiping down some shot glasses behind the bar.

“How long…?” Hyunggu asked, puzzled.

“Since the breakup,” Wonwoo said, staring with his neutral expression. “Hansol _did_ tell you this was something like a _breakup bar_ , right?”

Hyunggu shrugged. “Yeah, right, sorry.”

“So how long?”

“Honestly?” Hyunggu began, taking another sip of wine. “Not long enough.”

Wonwoo chuckled. “That’s rough.”

Hyunggu looked around at the place, people dancing way too close and talking way too loud and spilling drinks all over each other and the floor. He thinks he looks out of place, with his carefully applied makeup and a wine glass in his hand instead of some concoction that looked like it was probably poisonous, and Wonwoo seemed to notice too when he asked him some offhand question.

“Good taste in wine, but may I inquire about your choice of drink?”

This guy spoke so formally, it almost made Hyunggu laugh. “What’s wrong with wine?”

“People don’t usually come here for wine.”

“Well, _I_ did.”

“How’s that working out for you?”

Hyunggu pursed his lips, staring at the wine glass in his hand. He remembered why he was here again: to let loose, to have fun, to let go. Not of Wooseok, because Hyunggu already let go of that a long time ago. Hyunggu wanted to let go of _himself_. Or, rather, his _old_ selfーthat version of Hyunggu that was always happy to play by the rules and walk within the lines of comfort. He wanted it gone. He probably sounded like a teen in his rebellious phase, but fuck it, he had grown up way too fast and could afford one night of stupid decisions.

“Could you get me something stronger, then?” Hyunggu asked, a little bit more boldness in his tone. Wonwoo smirked.

“Happy to.”

Hyunggu watched as Wonwoo walked over to whisper something to the other man behind the bar, Mingyu. Hyunggu recognized him from Hansol’s pictures, but he looked _way_ better in person, even in the dim lighting of the bar. But something about his movements and puppy smile reminded him too much of someone else, someone he came here to forget about anyway. So Hyunggu willed himself to look away, swirling the rest of the wine in his glass before downing it in one go, preparing himself for whatever cocktail from hell Wonwoo and Mingyu were conspiring about.

He probably _was_ going to get drunk tonight, and he decided he would let himself. Hansol told him that his friends would be happy to book a cab for him anyway, so it would be fine. Maybe he’d join the people on the dance floor, because _god_ he missed dancing way more than everything else he should be missing right now. Whatever he did, though, Hyunggu promised himself that nothing in the world could possibly stop him from just putting himself out there, just having fun. Just for tonight, no matter how much anger he hid deep down inside, he was going to have a good time.

***

Shinwon was _not_ having a good time. 

He doesn’t know how many drinks he’s had. It’s either two _very_ strong ones or like a dozen weakshit cocktails, but he doesn’t remember. He just came here and told that tall bartender to fuck him up, and the man said _Gotcha_ like he was used to it, which he probably was.

“Psst.”

Shinwon groaned as he set his glass down, the buzz of alcohol starting to catch up to him, and he didn’t appreciate the bartender trying to make small talk.

“What, Min… Minsu, something, what do you want?”

The bartender just laughed, not looking like he was going to back off anytime soon.

“My name’s Mingyu, Shinwon-ssi. And you don’t seem to be doing so good.”

“Obviously,” Shinwon said, rubbing his eyes in exasperation. “Are you gonna give me another drink or did you just want to chat?”

Shinwon really didn’t want to sound meanーMingyu had been nice to him since he came in and demanded they poison him with alcohol. They were probably nice like that to everyone, considering Highlight’s reputation, but Shinwon knew he had been particularly bitchy and Mingyu was unbothered and continued acting like an angel. 

Seems about right, thoughーhandling heartbroken people was probably not that hard if Mingyu had a _boyfriend_ to do it with.

Shinwon let out a bitter chuckle before letting Mingyu reply. “I’ll give you another, but only on one condition.”

Shinwon was intrigued at that, and he looked up at the bartender who had a mischievous glint in his eyes. This would definitely be trouble.

“Try me, Mingyu.”

“See that guy over there?” Mingyu asked, as he pointed to someone at the end of the bar. “Buy him a drink. Chat him up. People come here to have fun, so go have some fun, Shinwon-ssi, doesn’t seem like you have anything better to do.”

Shinwon kind of wanted to punch him. Mingyu seemed to know that Shinwon _wasn’t_ going to punch him, though, judging by how bold he was getting with his teasing. Shinwon just sighed, running his hands through his surprisingly not-too-sweaty hair, and got up from his barstool as gracefully as he could manage.

“The hell do I have to lose, right?” Shinwon asked bitterly, halfheartedly shrugging at Mingyu as he walked to the other end of the bar.

He took the seat beside the stranger without asking, a little bit lost in his own daze but still decent enough to give him a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. The man looked youngーboyish, even, and Shinwon wondered what the hell happened that made him think he had to be here.

Well, as stupid an idea as it was, maybe he could find out over a few more drinks.

“Let me buy you a drink.”

***

Hyunggu smiled at the stranger that sat beside him. Hyunggu wondered how he could still smell the man’s musky perfume underneath all the alcohol. He had asked if he could buy Hyunggu a drinkーwell, not really _asked,_ but the intent was thereーand Hyunggu didn’t care to object. He was being carefree, letting looseーhe had to remember that.

“Not gonna say no to that, but I _am_ wondering why you’ve been sitting there all night and only came over now. Had to work up the courage?” Hyunggu asked, trying his best to sound confident, and the stranger snorted.

“Nope. Mingyu made me.”

Hyunggu let himself laugh a little at that, at how the stranger made sure to say it in a way that made it clear he was joking, even though his tone was so stupid and wobbly and he was definitely drunk out of his mind, but still sober enough to hold a conversation. This was the perfect opportunity for Hyunggu to just stop _thinking._ Maybe flirting with this guy wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Maybe he’d have to thank Wonwoo and Mingyu for conspiring to make it happen.

“You’ve got no filter on that pretty mouth of yours, huh?”

It was the stranger’s turn to laugh this time, and it was a mixture of bright and sad and wasted, and Hyunggu wondered what was hidden behind that alcoholic daze the guy was in.

“You think it’s pretty?” The man asked, making a kissy face that made Hyunggu laugh for real this time. 

Hyunggu started to relax a bit, finding that maybe if he wanted to let loose and have fun and live on the dangerous side of life, there wasn’t really much to it. They went silent again when Wonwoo came back to place two drinks in front of them, sending a subtle wink to Hyunggu after they both thanked the bartender. The cocktails looked pretty tame, Hyunggu thinks. Tame enough to be suspicious.

Shinwon immediately took a sip from his glass when Wonwoo left, leaving Hyunggu a bit stunned and wondering yet again what the _hell_ was going on with this stranger that was only clumsy and idiotic enough to make it a little bit endearingーand shit, Hyunggu needs to push those thoughts out of his head. 

“So… how long?” Hyunggu tried the question out, the same way Wonwoo did, breaking the awkward silence.

Shinwon looked at him, a sad smile on his face. “Six weeks? Yeah, maybe. Dunno. You?”

“Hm,” Hyunggu took a look at his watch. “Six hours.”

Shinwon laughed even more at that, looking at him in disbelief. “That’s messed up.”

“It was a long time coming, anyway. Don’t worry about it.”

“Me too, I guess. What happened with you?”

“He was in love with someone else. Don’t know why he didn’t break it off with me yet, so I did it for him.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. Ouch. What happened with _you_?”

“Nothing,” the stranger said, burning a hole into the rack of bottles with his stare. He raised his glass, motioning for Hyunggu to do the same. “Let’s just drink, yeah? To you, because you seem like you’re doing so well after, like, six hours.”

Hyunggu looked away in embarrassment, amused at this man’s absolute lack of conversational filter. He raised his glass anyway, making a toast of his own. “And to _you,_ for managing to talk to me without, like, passing out.”

The stranger giggled, he fucking _giggled_ , and flicked Hyunggu ever so lightly on the forehead before raising the glass to his lips. Hyunggu just blushed at how close they were in that instant, but chose to ignore it when he took a sip from his own glass, brows furrowing at the sweet liquid. It _was_ tame. Maybe he’d get to talk to this guy a little bit longer.

“Sorry, I didn’t get your name.”

“Shinwon. I’m Shinwon.”

“Cool,” Hyunggu sighed, sipping continuously on the drink between utterances. “I’m Hyunggu.”

***

“So, what do you do, Hyunggu?”

Hyunggu had asked Shinwon tons of questions the whole night, talking comfortably and ignoring the mischievous glances sent their way by the couple of bartenders behind the bar. He learned that Shinwon was 26, an industrial engineer, and _always_ changed the topic when Hyunggu tried to ask about his ex. Shinwon hadn’t asked many questions of his own, though, so Hyunggu was happy to finally answer.

“I’m a teaching assistant at SNU.”

“ _Oooh,_ sexy TA,” Shinwon mused, earning him a light slap on the shoulder from the younger man. “You sleep with your students, hm?”

That earned him another slap. “Hey! I _just_ broke up with my ex, in case you don’t remember, so, _no_.” Hyunggu was feeling bold when he added, “Or, not _yet_. Dunno. I could.”

“You’re funny.” Shinwon said, smiling a little bit brighter. 

The speakers were still loud but there were less people at the bar; it was nearing 11PM, and Hyunggu and Shinwon had been talking for almost an hour. There were a few people still on the dancefloor, talking and swaying along to the softer tunes being played at this hour. The slightly buzzed part of him wished he could’ve gone out there earlier, gone all out dancing to girl group songs and possibly making a fool of himself and enjoying every second of it. But the alternative wasn’t such a bad deal, and he had said and done enough bold things tonight that one more definitely couldn’t hurt him.

“Do you dance, Shinwonie?”

“No,” Shinwon held his hands up in defense when he saw the glint in Hyunggu’s eyes. “No, no, absolutely notー”

“Come on,” Hyunggu got off his stool, leaning close enough to Shinwon to make him feel his breath on his ear. He grabbed the elder’s hand softly, tentatively, his voice dropping a couple of octaves lower. “I’ll dance for you.”

Shinwon didn’t know what magnetic force caused him to stand up, but he did, letting Hyunggu pull him away to the dance floor as he did his best to stay upright. Hyunggu bit his lip when he smiled at him, like a kid who had received a new present, placing his hands on the back of Shinwon’s neck. Shinwon brought his own hands to the smaller boy’s waist, and that was probably the extent of his knowledge of slow dancing, honestly. He had half a mind to let Hyunggu know.

“Really don’t know how to dance, Hyunggu-ya.” Shinwon was trying his best not to slur his words. 

“You just stay _right there,_ Shinwonie. Let me dance for you.”

Shinwon became putty at those words, and he doesn’t really know why. He just watched Hyunggu through his fluttering eyelashes, feeling the heat rise up to his cheeks when the current song ended and another played, slower and a bit more sensual. He listened to the lyrics carefully and Hyunggu seemed to smirk as he recognized the melody, starting to get into his element.

 _Dancing With A Stranger._ That’s what the song was calledーShinwon remembers. He’s heard it before. But he’s never heard it like _this_ , with Hyunggu all over him, swaying gracefully, dancing for him like he said he would. The song was _perfect_ for them. Hyunggu danced around him. Shinwon almost felt sober.

The smaller man was circling around Shinwon as he stood, swaying and making small, flowy motions with his shoulders. Shinwon’s breath hitched every time Hyunggu touched him, because the smaller man made sure to keep them connected in at least one spot with every second of the song that passed, no matter how far he glided or how dramatic his movements were. It was as if touching Shinwon kept him grounded, as if it was what kept him moving, as if Hyunggu would suddenly go stiff if he didn’t have an inch of Shinwon’s skin or his clothes under his fingertips. Hyunggu danced like it was the life he hadn’t breathed for so long. Something about it made Shinwon feel like he was dancing too, like he was a _part_ of that life, moving and flowing even though all he did was stand and sway lightly, helpless to Hyunggu’s attention. 

Hyunggu found his way back in front of him towards the song’s end, mouthing the words to the song, and Shinwon couldn’t stop himself from holding the dancer more firmly in his arms. Hyunggu brought his hands down to Shinwon’s chest, brushing the pads of his thumbs over exposed collarbones and licking his lips at the sight above him. Shinwon was looking at him so softly, catching his breath like Hyunggu was, even though all he had done was watch. He almost looked sad, vulnerable, a stark contrast to the shameless fool Shinwon was letting himself be earlier in the evening. Shinwon brought a hand up to his face, brushing hair away from Hyunggu’s eyes so gently, and Hyunggu kind of wanted to kiss him.

But then Shinwon just pulled Hyunggu into his chest, settling his chin into the dip of the shorter boy’s shoulder. Hyunggu wrapped his arms around Shinwon’s waist, hugging him back tightly, and _shit._ Hyunggu melts into it. He wonders why he thinks that hugging Shinwonーthis stranger he met at the _Breakup Bar_ ーbrought him warmth he hadn’t felt in so long.

Hyunggu swore he could feel a tear soak into the shoulder of his button-up, right before Shinwon spoke, his voice barely a whisper.

“Take me home, Hyunggu.”

Hyunggu felt Shinwon hug him tighter. What was one more bad decision, anyway?

“Okay.”

***

Shinwon passed out before Hyunggu could even ask him where he lived. 

That’s how he ended up slung onto Mingyu’s shoulder at quarter to midnight, to be put down into the back of a taxi with Hyunggu on the way to the younger man’s apartment. Mingyu looked at the pair sympathetically, thankful but a bit apologetic that Hyunggu had to deal with Shinwon now. He spoke to Hyunggu before he got into the cab, scratching the back of his head innocently.

“How are you gonna get him up to your apartment?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Okay,” Mingyu smiled. “Will you be okay?”

“Yeah,” Hyunggu replied, a long sigh escaping his lips before he gestured with his head to Shinwon inside the cab. “It’s _him_ I’m worried about.”

Sure enough, Mingyu let out a sigh of his own. “And you weren’t even the one that served him all his drinks.”

Hyunggu chuckled at that, before thanking Mingyu with a generous tip and bidding him good night.

He turned to Shinwon when the cab started to make its way to Hyunggu’s apartment complex, the older man half-awake and muttering incoherent things and moving his hand around, seemingly in search of something.

“What am I gonna do with you, Shinwon?” Hyunggu asked as he took in the sight of him, a mixture of concern and doubt painting his face.

Still, he let Shinwon slip his hand into his, smiling sadly when it made him visibly relax, his mutterings silenced and the furrow in his brows disappearing as they neared their destination.

***

Shinwon woke up in a bed that was definitely too soft to be his own.

The realization jolted him awake after a few seconds, out of his sleepy daze and surprisingly mild hangover, and he sat up abruptly to look around the room and remember what happened the night before.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt, which wasn’t a good sign. Luckily, he _was_ wearing some sweatpants, but they weren’t even his own and that wasn’t a good sign either. Barely anything was coming back to him except the bar, the copious amount of drinks, dancingー

Hyunggu.

Right. There was that. Shinwon danced with Hyunggu, or, rather, Hyunggu danced enough for the both of them, and his warmth was the last thing Shinwon remembered before everything went black. The room did look like it could belong to Hyunggu, from what little Shinwon had gotten to know the past evening. 

The bed was pushed to the left wall of the room, a nice window above it filtering soft sunlight through the space. On the right was a slightly cracked-open door to a connecting bathroom, with a fluffy white robe hanging on the door handle. And right beside the bed was a nightstand, where Shinwon found a lampshade, a glass of water and two painkillers, and a picture frame lying face down.

That last one piqued Shinwon’s interest.

He knew he was intruding enough already, and he didn’t even remember exactly _how much_ he had intruded into Hyunggu’s space since last night. But his hands worked faster than his barely-functioning brain, and seconds later he was picking the frame up and holding it in front of him, taking in the photo with curious eyes.

Hyunggu looked much younger within the walls of the wooden frame. Beside him was another boy, taller than Hyunggu with black curls and thin-rimmed glasses, his arm around the other boy as they both smiled. Hyunggu didn’t even smile _that_ bright last night. Shinwon thinks it’s a worthy memory for the younger man to fall asleep to. He wondered if the frame being face-down meant that he had stopped. He wondered why.

Shinwon was startled when someone walked in, and Hyunggu was unbotheredーhe looked amused, evenーwhen Shinwon fumbled to return the frame to its original position, almost _throwing_ it back onto the nightstand. Hyunggu just chuckled before speaking up, eyebrows raised at having caught Shinwon, but he didn’t really make any mention of it.

“Morning, sunshine. You look like shit.”

Shinwon snorted. “Thanks.”

“Just kidding.”

Shinwon watched as Hyunggu walked over to the nightstand, picking up the frame without looking at the photo. He spoke up again after placing it into a nearby drawer, not even acknowledging it at all.

“Take the painkillers, Shinwonie.”

Shinwon did as he was told, asking a question before popping the pills into his mouth and tipping the glass of water back. “What happened last night?”

“Well, you asked me to take you home, but passed out before you could even tell me where you lived. So Mingyu carried you into the back of a cab with me and I had to tip him _very_ generously, thank God you had some cash in your walletー”

“Hey!”

“ーstop complaining, you’re heavy. Anyway, I guess you sobered up enough on the way to stumble up here with me on your own, and you even had the decency to wash up a bit after throwing up in my bathroomー”

“Oh my god.”

“ーand I didn’t have clothes that fit you, so I just gave you my oldest pair of sweatpants and then you passed out again. And now, here we are.”

Shinwon was dumbfounded, trying to take it all in, recalling bits and pieces of information from everything Hyunggu said. There was still one last question he had in his mind.

“Did we, um, you know… like, sleep together?”

Hyunggu kept his expression neutral, shaking his head no. “I wouldn’t do that, Shinwon. You were so goddamn drunk. I mean, I was, too, but you were _so goddamn drunk._ ”

Shinwon nodded, thankful for all Hyunggu did for him the last night, letting Shinwon give him a hard time even though he didn’t _have_ to.

“Did you sleep on your couch?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry.”

“No problem.”

“Sorry for… um. The picture.”

Hyunggu went silent.

“Hyunggu?”

“Yes,” he said, after a short sigh. “It’s fine.”

The air seemed to shift, but Shinwon still wanted to know more. He promised in his mind that he’d make it up to Hyunggu for being such a pain in the ass, get him a decent dinner or something, but for now, he couldn’t help himself from prying.

“Who was that, anyway? You looked close. Is he gonna kill me for being in your bed?”

Hyunggu chuckled, albeit a little wistfully. He rolled his eyes before sitting up on the bed beside Shinwon, and the older man thinks Hyunggu relented a little too easily, because he answered without missing a beat.

“That was Wooseok. And he’s not gonna kill you, because in case you don’t remember, I broke up with him yesterday.”

Shinwon recalls the passing thought he had last night, of why Hyunggu thought he had to be in a bar full of wasted, heartbroken fools like him.

Maybe Hyunggu just needed someone to listen.

***

Hyunggu could see it in Shinwon’s eyes that he was listening, intent and sympathetic.

“We were childhood best friends. We went through the motions, I guess, started dating at 16, but I don’t really remember how exactly it happened. It just did. We were like a school power couple in college, I was on the dance team and he played soccer, and shit like that. We were in love, we had everything laid out for us. It was nice.

“But then it started off slow, you know, I got that feeling that maybe we settled for each other because we were what was in reach, and everything was already so familiar and we didn’t have to do much except stay. I guess relationships like that go through their own motions too, becauseーwell. Look where we are now.

“I could tell he was getting colder, started getting annoyed that I was with him wherever he went. There was this really nice receptionist at his work once when I walked with him there, and he smiled so wide at him and even wider when I asked about him, and _god_ , Wooseok didn’t even notice that he never smiled at _me_ that way anymore. That was so long ago. But I finally accepted he was in love with someone else.”

Shinwon gulped, taking it all in. “Did he… cheat on you?”

“No,” Hyunggu was quick to shake his head, before looking down sadly again. “Nothing like that. I just… didn’t want him to resent me for keeping him tied down. Both of us were starting to see beyond what was right in front of us. Who was I to keep him from wanting more, right? And I think it was better to break it off before I could start hating him. I don’t want to hate him. I just don’t want to pretend that he loves me anymore.”

Hyunggu could feel Shinwon’s gaze on him as he brought his knees up to his chest, and he knew he looked like he was retreating into himself. He refused to look at Shinwon, afraid that he might break down right after having said that much, but Shinwon only spoke softly, so uncharacteristically sweet and gentle.

“Have you talked to him since yesterday?”

“No. I think it’s best we have some time away from each other, for now.”

Hyunggu chanced a look at the other man, only to find him looking back with a kind expression, mouthing _okay_ and not prying any further. Hyunggu wanted to lean his head on his ridiculously broad shoulders if he was being honest. But he had his own things to find out, too.

“Your turn, Shinwonie,” he began, mustering up all the confidence he could find. “Who’s Hwitaek?”

***

Shinwon could feel himself freezing up at those words.

“I don’t know.”

“You kept saying that name in the cab last night.”

“Well, I was drunk. I don’t know.”

Hyunggu looked a bit hurt at that, at Shinwon’s sudden defensiveness, and he moved to get off the bed.

“Okay. I’m sorry I asked.”

Shinwon mentally cursed himself. Maybe _this_ was why he was so hard to love, maybe he was so easy to push away because he always did it first. Maybe he hadn’t thought about the fact that Hyunggu, literally just seconds ago, poured out his whole heart to him and trusted him with the secrets behind a picture frame he kept face-down on his bedside table. Maybe Hyunggu looked so sad, so dejected, and maybe he didn’t deserve to be shut out right after welcoming Shinwon in so warmly.

Before Hyunggu could get his hand on the door, Shinwon called out. “Hyunggu.”

He looked back towards the bed, sure enough, hurt still clear on his features though he tried to hide it.

“I’m sorry. Come back.”

Shinwon tried to slow down his breathing, recalling the last time he had said those exact words, and the pain that came with it. But Hyunggu _did_ come back, sitting down on the bed beside him again, relaxing Shinwon with every second he remained.

“Yeah, Hwitaek was my ex-boyfriend. The reason I was getting blackout drunk. We ended on good terms… I think? I don’t know. But still,” Shinwon’s voice was getting shaky, and he doesn’t remember himself ever being able to talk so softly, like the words could damage him, or even Hyunggu.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Shinwon sighed, and Hyunggu gave him a pout. “No, I really don’t know, Hyunggu. One day he just looked me in the eyes and told me he didn’t love me anymore. That’s it.”

Hyunggu wanted to reach out, but he was almost afraid it would be too much. Like if he tried to touch Shinwon now, everything around them might break. Hyunggu hated seeing Shinwon like this, fragile and sad with his hair messed up and his frame wrapped in nothing but Hyunggu’s comforter, worlds away from the absolute bumbling idiot he was last night.

“I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what I did wrong. Maybe he got tired.” Shinwon let out a chuckle after that, though Hyunggu could clearly hear the bitterness behind it. “Or, worseーmaybe he just got bored.”

Hyunggu tried his best, smiling quietly for the both of them, not wanting to break the moment or lose it or let it slip through his fingers.

“Sometimes people just fall out of love, I guess. It’s sad.” Hyunggu uttered wistfully.

Shinwon looked up at him when Hyunggu said it, something indecipherable in his eyes, but Hyunggu decided he liked that version of Shinwon the best, so far. He looked real. Just Shinwon. No jokes or tricks. Just him.

“You’re young, Hyunggu. You got your heart broken once, and it happens. You won’t have any trouble finding someone who loves you. Don’t worry about it.”

Hyunggu snorted. “You say I’m _young_ like you’re _that_ much older than me. You’re 26, not 62. You’ll find someone too.”

“No, I won’t,” Shinwon sighed. “Hwitaek was my last chance.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak, Hyunggu. People always leave. Hwitaek didn’t. He loved me, and I thought we would last forever. We were together for 5 years, and now I don’t even know if he loved me at all.”

Hyunggu let himself move closer to Shinwon, brushing his fingertips over the bare skin of his arm. Shinwon shivered a bit at the touch, and Hyunggu wished he would just give in. He wanted to give in to him just as bad.

“That doesn’t mean no one ever _will_.”

“But I’m tired, Hyunggu,” Shinwon said, finally letting a tear fall out of his eye. “I don’t even remember what it was like to love anyone that wasn’t him.”

“Well,” Hyunggu whispered, bringing his face impossibly closer to Shinwon’s. “I’ve never known what it was like at all.”

Shinwon looked at him, a little lost in his doe eyes.

“Good thing we found each other, then?” Shinwon chuckled nervously, Hyunggu’s face inches away from his own. He could’ve just looked away, moved his arm away from Hyunggu’s touch, but he didn’t. He _couldn’t_. He just stared, and let Hyunggu gaze, and let himself melt from it.

And Shinwon let himself gasp, when Hyunggu finally leaned in.

***

Hyunggu’s chest was on fire. Kissing Shinwon was slow at first, unsure and experimental, but Shinwon deepened the kiss and Hyunggu didn’t know what to do with himself. He wanted to scream, or cry, he wanted to beg Shinwon to never stop. He just kept kissing him instead, afraid the man beside him would dissolve into thin air. Maybe that’s why Hyunggu brought his hands up into the dark brown of Shinwon’s hair, clawing at the curls falling into Shinwon’s eyes, not even knowing what he was doing when he climbed on top of him, kissing him like it was the only thing he had left.

Shinwon was quiet, save for the gasps he let out into Hyunggu’s mouth every time they pulled away for air, and the older man bit his lip when Hyunggu started touching his bare chest, nipping at the skin on the side of his neck and jaw. Hyunggu slowly removed the comforter from around Shinwon’s stupidly broad shoulders, trying desperately not to leave marks despite the temptation of the noises that escaped Shinwon’s lips. Shinwon wasn’t his, and Hyunggu knew that. But Shinwon could be his just for nowーand Hyunggu wanted that to be the first dangerous decision he got to make after his years spent blinded by some romanticized adventure through life with his high school sweetheart, or some shit. 

Hyunggu peeled off his own oversized sweater, kissing Shinwon hastily right after. He didn’t care how stupidly eager he was being, not when Shinwon wrapped his arms around his waist and drew feather-light circles on the small of his back. Not when Hyunggu hadn’t felt like this in so damn long.

“Hey, hey. Slow down there, sweetheart.”

Hyunggu blushed. “Sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” Shinwon whispered, “Sweetheart. Slow your roll. You broke up with your boyfriend, like, yesterday.”

Hyunggu felt his heart break a little at that. He needed Shinwon to stay. Clothes off or not, there was no way he was letting Shinwon leave after kissing him like that, making him remember that rush he hadn’t felt in god knows how long. Shinwon needed to stay. He needed to make Shinwon stay.

“It was over a long time ago, Shinwonie,” Hyunggu said, the tears finally slipping out, one by one. “Just shut up and kiss me. _Please_.”

Shinwon seemed to contemplate it for a moment. Hyunggu knew how scared he looked. He hoped it didn’t scare Shinwon off, too.

It didn’t, apparently. Shinwon kissed him slowly, soft and caring unlike all the previous heated ones they shared. Shinwon just looked up at him through fluttering eyelashes, suddenly pliant under Hyunggu’s fingertips like he heard all his thoughts, like he was saying _I’m here, I’ll stay, just kiss me again._ Hyunggu let out the breath he was holding, pushing Shinwon down onto the bed so he was under him, placing kisses all over his torso. 

Shinwon pulled him back to kiss him, licking into his mouth with more fervor, but letting Hyunggu take control. Hyunggu instinctively grinded his hips down, feeling a shiver down his spine when Shinwon brushed a finger over one of his nipples.

They stopped for a while, looking at each other for permission.

“Tell me what you want, sweetheart.”

“You.” Hyunggu whispered, breathing heavy against Shinwon’s neck. “Even if it’s just for today. I want you. I want this, want all of it.”

There was a silence before Shinwon looked up into Hyunggu’s desperate eyes, brushing his hair away from his forehead. Hyunggu almost thought he would leave again.

“I’m yours.”

That spurred the fire on in both of them, and they surged forward to meet each other halfway, lost in an open-mouthed kiss. Shinwon grabbed Hyunggu’s ass and gave a light squeeze, and Hyunggu tried to bite back a moan as he rolled his hips down onto Shinwon’s crotch, feeling the other man straining through his sweatpants as well.

“Hyunggu, sweetheart, let me hear you.” Shinwon was breathless. “Moan for me, you sound so good.”

Hyunggu obliged soon enough, surprised when Shinwon palmed him through his shorts, and Hyunggu suddenly needed the fabric gone, didn’t want anything else separating him from Shinwon’s touch.

“Touch me, Shinwon.”

Shinwon sat up again, trailing his hands down the sides of Hyunggu’s waist before he reached the waistband of his shorts, pulling them down slowly with Hyunggu’s underwear. Hyunggu’s cock sprung free from its confines, but he didn’t give Shinwon much time to admire the sight, his own hands already working at undoing the string of Shinwon’s pants. They were Hyunggu’s, actually, and the tightness outlined Shinwon perfectly and showed off his calves where they stopped short way above his ankles. Shinwon wasn’t just a sweet man and a pretty faceーhe was also fucking _hot_ , and Hyunggu couldn’t wait to take those stupid, old sweats off of him.

Shinwon sat up again when they were both naked, stroking Hyunggu’s dick like he wanted, making the younger man whine as he shut his eyes tight and savored the pleasure. It really _had_ been a long time. A long time since Hyunggu felt this good, felt as much fire from someone’s gaze letting him know he had all their attention. Even if this was fleeting, at least Hyunggu got to remember what it was like. 

“Shinwon,” Hyunggu said, voice rough, still shivering from pleasure. “Can you fuck me?”

The other man was awestruck, his breath hitching and hand stopping the motions on Hyunggu’s cock. Shinwon just nodded vigorously in response when he came back to himself, fumbling nervously.

“Are you really sure, Hyunggu?”

Hyunggu barely needed to think. Shinwon was making him feel so wonderful, appreciated, beautiful. Fuck it if this was a reckless decision, Hyunggu told himself he would live dangerously now. But it didn’t even feel dangerous at all. It didn’t feel dirty. Shinwon touched him and praised him and Hyunggu felt like he deserved it. Hyunggu wasn’t ashamed that he wanted more.

“I’m sure. I want this, Shinwonie. So bad.”

Shinwon nodded at him, cradling his face delicately. 

“Where’s the lube?”

“Drawer.”

“Gotcha.”

Hyunggu smiled fondly as Shinwon moved out from under him to fumble in the drawer until he found the small bottle, and Hyunggu felt his breath hitch in anticipation. Shinwon looked at him hungrily, toying with the bottle and biting his lip. Normally, Hyunggu would have found it stupid, but the thought of Shinwon inside him, stretching him open bit by bitーit made Shinwon look so fucking seductive. And really, Hyunggu didn’t want to rush, but there was nothing he could do when his cock twitched at the sight of Shinwon opening the bottle and he clenched his ass, wondering what Shinwon would feel like inside of him.

“How do you want it?”

“Like this,” Hyunggu crawled over to straddle Shinwon’s lap again, his hips hovering over Shinwon’s legs as he snaked his arms around his neck.

“Fuck,” Shinwon said, under his breath. “You’re so hot.”

Shinwon swirled a lube-coated finger around Hyunggu’s rim first, waiting for the smaller man to relax before inserting it in. Hyunggu seemed to take the first finger easily, moaning at suddenly being filled, and Shinwon just took in the sight of him as he pushed in and out of Hyunggu’s hole.

“You alright, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I…” Hyunggu said, opening his eyes a bit and blushing. “I finger myself, sometimes.”

Shinwon shut his eyes tight at that, the declaration going straight to his dick. Hyunggu was a bit shy about it, as he recalled all the times he tried to pleasure himself from both ends, grinding down a bit on Shinwon’s finger at the thought. Shinwon added another finger when he heard the obscene moan that came from Hyunggu’s lips, and Hyunggu knew that he could _never_ make himself feel as good as Shinwon was making him feel right now.

Hyunggu almost screamed when Shinwon added a third, scissoring Hyunggu open and lightly brushing his prostate as he curled the digits. He could feel himself sinking lower, spreading himself open wider, and Shinwon cooed at him the whole time, praises of _so beautiful, so fucking hot, such a good boy, Hyunggu, sweetheart,_ escaping his mouth. Hyunggu just wanted to be good for him, he wanted all of Shinwon’s attention, wanted Shinwon to praise him, pleasure him, absolutely _ruin_ him.

“Shinwon, just fuck me, _please_. I’m prepped.”

So when Shinwon grabbed a condom from the same drawer and slid it on, Hyunggu told him he wanted to take his cock the same way he took his fingers, just so he could face Shinwon, see him and hold him close if he felt like it. Shinwon didn’t dare say no.

Shinwon lined up his cock with Hyunggu’s ass as Hyunggu slid down, pleasure overtaking pain soon enough when he felt all of Shinwon slide inside of him. The whimper Hyunggu let out was _beautiful, so fucking sexy,_ in Shinwon’s words, and he let Hyunggu decide when to move, thrusting upwards when Hyunggu lifted himself up and started sinking down repeatedly on his cock.

Hyunggu let himself get lost in a mess of moans and sweet noises, loving all the sensations around and inside of him. He just wanted all of it. He wanted to keep feeling this good, have Shinwon all to himself. He wonders how he ever let himself go so long without this kind of warmth, the comfort that spread through Shinwon’s skin that Hyunggu knew would remain there whether or not they were fucking. Hyunggu wills himself not to let the emotions overwhelm him, as he thinks about finally having something that was just _his_ , after staying in a relationship so long after it became loveless. Hyunggu wanted to believe he could have this for longer, and right now he didn’t care about the person in that picture frame, he was glad it was in some drawer and couldn’t watch him finally taking all the love he deserved.

But it’s a different emotion that overwhelms him when he thinks of Shinwon, eyes shut tight as he fucked into him, and Hyunggu wonders if what’s behind those eyelids really was just _him_. Shinwon was the one who was getting wasted last night, bitter over a past love, and Hyunggu doesn’t want Shinwon to know him as that guy who cried during sex but he couldn’t help the tears that fell out when he thinks that Shinwon probably isn’t even thinking of him. But he was stupid, and wanted to hold on to hope so bad, so he cried into Shinwon’s shoulder, biting down as he continued to ride him, and Shinwon ran a hand through his hair in an instant.

“Hey, hey. Hyunggu, look at me. I wanna see you.”

Hyunggu didn’t even care that the position wasn’t doing as much for him as he would’ve liked, because all he wanted was to hold Shinwon close, be able to whisper things to each other that no one else could hear.

“Sweetheart.”

“I want you to look at _me_ ,” Hyunggu said, finally facing Shinwon and bouncing faster on his cock. “Only me, Shinwon. Just me.”

“I’m looking, Hyunggu,” Shinwon uttered, breathless between moans, watching him. “Dance for me, baby.”

Hyunggu cried out as he fucked himself on Shinwon’s cock, harder and faster, rolling his hips and his body as he took Shinwon as deep as he could. He made sure to make a show out of it, biting his lip, spinning his ass around and letting Shinwon watch his neglected cock slap against his stomach, the obscene wet noises clouding his mind. He was starting to get tired, but Shinwon pulled him in closer, kissing him passionately on the lips, before pushing him down onto the bed.

Shinwon could thrust into him even deeper when he was on his back, and Hyunggu cried out when Shinwon finally hit his prostate and he picked up the pace of his thrusts. Hyunggu’s body was starting to get sensitive, back arching off the bed as he murmured quiet pleas to the man above him.

“Shinw… god, yes, right there, _please._ ”

Shinwon’s breathing was getting ragged as well, as both of them neared their release.

“Hyunggu, fuck. Touch yourself.”

Shinwon threw his head back at how Hyunggu’s features contorted when he finally grabbed his leaking cock, shamelessly moaning out Shinwon’s name.

“I’m gonna come, Shinwonー”

Shinwon made sure to keep the pace, hitting Hyunggu’s prostate every time and watching as Hyunggu jerked himself off, cum spilling out all the way up to his chest when Hyunggu reached his orgasm. The sight was wonderful, Shinwon fucked him through it, and it didn’t take much before he was letting out a low moan and spilling into the condom while Hyunggu clenched around him, oversensitive and hot.

They caught their breaths, and Shinwon placed a kiss on Hyunggu’s forehead before pulling out of him, hissing slightly. Hyunggu didn’t expect it, but Shinwon kissed upwards onto his torso, touching him almost reverently. He lapped at the spots of cum and licked it off his lips like he was worshipping Hyunggu, like it was his sacred duty. Hyunggu couldn’t help but feel electricity surging through him under his gaze. He hoped it wasn’t the end; Shinwon kissed him softly on the lips and Hyunggu could taste himself, and this _couldn’t_ be the end.

“I’ll clean us up,” Shinwon muttered, getting up off the bed when Hyunggu nodded weakly.

***

Shinwon returned with a towel from the bathroom, and wiped Hyunggu down as the younger man remained on his back, lying upside down on the bed. They didn’t speak much, but it was comfortable. Shinwon could tell that Hyunggu was surprised when he laid down beside him, propping his head up on his arm to just look at Hyunggu, glowing and soft even after what they had just done.

“Was that good?” Shinwon asked, as kind as he could manage.

“It was.”

Shinwon agreed. It _was_ good. Shinwon wanted to worship Hyunggu the whole time, break him apart in pleasure, all he could think about was how Hyunggu had danced around him the night before, how Hyunggu touched and teased him, how Hyunggu kissed and smiled and spoke, _Hyunggu, Hyunggu, Hyunggu._ Shinwon didn’t even realize what Hyunggu meant when he asked him to look at him, _only_ him, because _of fucking course_ Shinwon could think of only him. There was really nothing else to think about.

Still, he would be lying to himself if he said that he had moved on after that. But he was wrong earlier—maybe Hwitaek _wasn’t_ his last chance. 

“Hyunggu, do you wanna be friends?”

Hyunggu turned to him, a devilish smirk forming on his lips. “With benefits?”

Hyunggu was teasing, but Shinwon couldn’t even wipe the serious look off his face. “No, Hyunggu. _Friends_.”

“You’re no fun.” Hyunggu pouted. “Or do you just not… want me… like that?”

Shinwon was quick to reassure him; he brought a hand up to Hyunggu’s hair, just keeping them connected that way as they lay face to face, upside down on the bed as morning sunlight started to paint them golden. Touching to keep him grounded, to keep them _both_ tethered to the earth and to each other, like Hyunggu had done when they danced the night before.

“I just… I don’t think I want to be reckless with you, Hyunggu.”

“I’m not worth the risk, huh?” Hyunggu said, voice suddenly sad.

Shinwon shook his head vigorously. “I just want to do this properly, okay?” he said, immediately moving closer to Hyunggu, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his bare skin. 

“Let me fall in love with you, Hyunggu.”

Hyunggu became pliant at those words, nuzzling closer, and his voice was suddenly small and timid when he spoke again.

“Okay, Shinwonie,” he uttered, tucking his head into the crook of Shinwon’s neck. “I’ll be your friend.”

Shinwon breathed in Hyunggu’s scent, petting his hair gently, wondering how this would go.

“Shinwon?”  
  
“What is it?”

“Will you stay with me? Just for today?”

Shinwon smiled at the person in his arms, delicate and beautiful, and pulled the comforter over them both to bundle them up in warmth.

“Of course.”

***

_[FIVE MONTHS LATER]_

Shinwon had a boring day at the office, much like all the other boring days he was used to. There were meetings and calls and tons of paperwork to do, and the monotone of fingers typing away on laptops was actually making him _crave_ noise. He was so sick of peace and quiet.

So he could imagine how his face positively lit up when he got a text on his phone, immediately knowing who it would be.

 **hyunggu** [4:28 PM]

_ > hey _

_ > wanna break up? _

**shinwon** [4:28 PM]

_ > lol _

_ > sure _

_ > tonight at 8? _

**hyunggu** [4:31 PM]

_ > i’ll be there _

_ > see you tonight <3 _

That’s how Shinwon found himself at Highlight again, taking in the scent of alcohol at the fabled _Breakup Bar_ on a busy Friday night. He and Hyunggu had come here often over the past few months that they’d known each other, the bar being special to them despite its reputation.

They _were_ friends, as far as they were concerned. They got to know each other better, went out and had dinners and controlled themselves pretty well except when they didn’t, and sometimes they kissed and blushed and made stupid eyes at each other that made Wonwoo glare or Mingyu say _you know this isn’t really a place for couples, right?_ And yes, they _did_ fool around a couple times, when they just couldn’t help it, but their arrangement was comfortable. Hyunggu knew that Shinwon’s heart was for him, and he did his best to reassure Shinwon that he felt the same.

After some time apart, Hyunggu also repaired his relationship with his childhood best friend and ex-boyfriend Wooseok, and Shinwon was lucky enough to meet the guy on one of their lunch outings. He wasn’t a bad person, although Shinwon _was_ a bit irrationally protective of Hyunggu the first time, knowing everything Hyunggu had told him. But Wooseok wasn’t stone-hearted or cruel, and he did care about Hyunggu. He had known him all his life, after all. He was just a little bit lost, just like Hyunggu, and just like everyone else, really. And Shinwon also found it endearing that Wooseok had genuinely wished him and Hyunggu happiness, and then slipped in the classic _if you hurt him I will fucking find you and murder you_ speech right after. Shinwon was glad that Hyunggu had him, despite everything.

He, on the other hand, was not doing as great on the ex-boyfriend front, but he had moved on decently well in the span of 6 months. Thinking about Hwitaek still stung a little bit, made him insecure and wonder why he wasn’t enough, but he had learned not to let it hurt as much as it used to. It didn’t keep him up past 3 AM anymore, and as far as he was concerned, that was sufficient. As much as Shinwon wanted closure, they had broken off contact along with the relationship, and Shinwon decided that the only way to go was to have no regrets. Because no matter what, no matter how much it hurt him before, all of it led to where he was now. And he wasn’t doing so bad, if he had to say so himself.

Shinwon looked around for Hyunggu, wondering why he wasn’t at their usual spot at the bar. Shinwon was usually the late one (he was working on it), but now it was twenty minutes past eight and he was still alone.

That’s when Shinwon saw him.

Not Hyunggu. Shinwon saw someone standing alone at one of the smaller standing tables, a drink in front of him that he wasn’t really paying attention to. Despite all his better judgment, Shinwon walked over, feeling his heart beating hard in his chest as his feet dragged. 

“Hey.”

“Shinwon?”

He was now standing in front of Lee Hwitaek, his former boyfriend of five years, the man who broke his heart. They had only been apart for six months, and yet here he was, standing at the _Breakup Bar,_ and Shinwon wonders if Hwitaek found someone and left them too, in such a short span of time. Hwitaek didn’t really seem like the type, but then again, Shinwon was in no position to judge. And he reminds himself that he didn’t really know Hwitaek as well as he thought.

“Did someone new break your heart, Hui?”

The shorter man’s face fell at the question and that old nickname, clasping his hands around his drink before replying.

“No,” he said, voice shaking. “I just missed you, actually.”

Shinwon didn’t know what to say, and he stood there awkwardly, just fidgeting with his phone and shifting his weight. Hwitaek noticed, and took a sip of his drink like it would ease the tension.

“What brings _you_ here, baー Shinwon?”

“I came here with someone, actually.” Shinwon almost felt bad at the way Hwitaek’s face sunk. Almost.

“Someone new for you, then?”

“You could say that.”

“That’s good,” Hwitaek said, nodding more to himself than at Shinwon. “I’m happy for you.”

Shinwon lets himself entertain the thought that he knew Hwitaek at least well enough to know that he meant it. Even though he refused to look Shinwon in the eyes. Even though his smile was wobbly, just a thin line on the verge of breaking.

“Can I hug you?” Shinwon asked before he could stop himself, and the shorter man just moved his head onto Shinwon’s chest, short and noncommittal, before pulling away with that same, sad smile. 

“Please be happy, Hwitaek hyung.”

Hwitaek only nodded and smiled, getting one last look at Shinwon before walking towards the bar. Shinwon stared long enough to see him throw two shots back, and Shinwon’s heart broke a little, but he knew he would be okay. Shinwon had been just the same when the heartbreak was fresh, and he came out of it just fine. He made a mental note to check up on Hwitaek if ever the circumstances allowed. And maybe in time, when they were older and healed, they could find it in themselves to understand. Maybe even forgive. 

For now, Shinwon locked the memories away in his heart, sighing softly at a familiar face now seated at the far end of the bar. He walked over to him, feeling a little bit lighter at just seeing his face, a little bit flushed from the wine he was sipping on. Hyunggu turned his head to smile at Shinwon, tilting his head as he took his place next to him.

“Good evening, sweetheart. You’re late.”

“Good evening, Shinwon. That’s my line.”

“Not tonight.”

“Yeah, the trains were crowded tonight.” Hyunggu went on as Mingyu walked up in front of them, serving Shinwon his usual drink, complete with his usual wink (that he didn’t even try to hide from Hyunggu anymore). Both of them laughed.

Shinwon looked at Hyunggu, his hair now dyed a warm shade of brown that made him look so much softer. He doesn’t really hear himself when he asked Hyunggu about his day, and he swore he was listening to the answer but he was also too happy to get lost in his _friend_ , his not-lover, just hearing him laugh, taking him in.

It was music to his ears. Hyunggu always was.

***

“And then Yuto had to ask him on the date himself, my _god_! Yuto already had the flowers and sweets that Wooseok gave him, like, right there, _in his arms,_ but then that tall dumbass chickened out, all he had to do was ask a question, I can’t _stand_ him!”

Hyunggu was laughing as he retold the story, a mix of fond exasperation in his words. Shinwon laughed along, invested in hearing about Wooseok’s misadventures with the Japanese receptionist he had a crush on, Yuto. Shinwon was happy that the breakup didn’t _break_ the two friends too much. Wooseok made Hyunggu happy, and Shinwon kind of wishes he had someone like that, who’d care about him despite everything. But he’s content with where he is, for now. That could wait. He had something nice in front of him. He wasn’t going to let it go to waste.

“Hey, Shinwon. Earth to Shinwon. Psst.”

Shinwon snapped out of his thoughts, blushing when Hyunggu laughed at how zoned out he was.

“I spaced out, I’m sorry, what were you saying? I heard something about a rat dog, but that’s it.”

“Hotdog. My colleagues and I got hotdogs for lunchーokay, that’s not really important, I kind of wanna know what you were thinking about just now. _Pleaseeee~.”_

Shinwon couldn’t resist how he dragged out the word, and he barely had time to contemplate before saying what he said.

“I saw Hwitaek today. Before you came here.”

Hyunggu tried to keep his expression neutral. “Yeah? What happened?”

“He’s over there, at the other end of the bar.” Shinwon gestured vaguely with his eyes, not looking back. “He said he missed me. He told me he was happy for me, and I told him to be happy too.”

“Happy for you?”

“Well… I kind of told him I was with someone.”

“You’re seeing someone?” Hyunggu smirked. “I didn’t know about that.”

Shinwon hummed, smirking as he took a swig of his drink and they fell back into casual conversation.

“Are you sure he’s fine, Shinwonie? He looks like he’s getting pretty messed up over there.”

Shinwon followed Hyunggu’s gaze when he brought up the question, finding him staring directly at none other than Hwitaek, his gaze and tone a bit nervous. Shinwon could hear the questions popping up in Hyunggu’s head, could almost see the doubt and insecurity flashing in his eyes. He brought a hand up to the younger man’s cheek, turning Hyunggu’s face towards him. 

“Hey,” he began. “Stop looking at him, sweetheart. _I’m_ not. I’m only looking at you.”

Hyunggu smiled brightly, visibly relaxing when he met Shinwon’s eyes. He pouted a little bit, making puppy eyes before making his next request.

“Dance with me?”

Shinwon remembered how he acted the first time that offer was made to him, and told himself he’d never pass it up again.

“Lead the way.”

***

They made their way easily to the dancefloor, Hyunggu immediately grooving to the pop song on the speakers while Shinwon swayed shyly next to him. He wasn’t a slacker, thoughーShinwon had learned over their past dances how to dip Hyunggu and twirl him around, hold him close while they moved as one. And it was always as wonderful as the first time, Hyunggu was mesmerizing when he moved, always grounded by Shinwon’s presence and his touch.

“So, who’s this person you’re seeing, Shinwonie?” Hyunggu said, smirking as he continued to sway.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Some guy I met at a _Breakup Bar_.”

“Ironic,” Hyunggu replied, giggling. “So what happens if you break up, then?”

Shinwon pondered his answer, narrowing his eyes mischievously. “He’ll come back here and I’ll run right after him, because I can never resist him. A menace, really.”

Hyunggu poked Shinwon’s side, pouting at his teasing. “You did _not_ just call me a menace.”

Shinwon pulled him close, hands firm around his waist, and whispered warmly into his ear.

“You’re _my_ menace, Kang Hyunggu.”

Hyunggu smiled, capturing Shinwon’s lips in a chaste kiss in one moment of bravery, before continuing their dance. Shinwon knew what he had left unsaid, and let it linger around them comfortably as they swayed and touched and adjusted to each other’s rhythms. Hyunggu always wrapped Shinwon in this bright veil of light, what with the sureness in his quiet movements and how he always managed to take control when Shinwon felt his feet slipping from underneath him. Hyunggu had seen sides of him that Shinwon almost forgot even existed, and Shinwon was happy to let Hyunggu explore all the things he wanted with all those bright stars in his eyes.

Shinwon always thinks about how Hyunggu looked on their first morning together, laid beside him upside down on his lonely queen bed, bathed in the 8 AM sunlight. They’d both changed since then, more for better than for worse. But Shinwon holds onto that image of Hyunggu because it was the first one that he knew, and he had learned to revere everything that came next.

“Have you fallen in love with me, yet, Shinwon?”

God, if only he knew.

“Long time ago, Hyunggu.”

“Good,” Hyunggu said, eyes content. He looked wonderful when he knew he was loved. “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> the song they danced to at the end was i'm ready by sam smith ft. demi lovato~
> 
> how was it ... yell at me in the comments or on [twt](https://twitter.com/violetholdsme?s=20) & cc ^_^
> 
> and a small author's note: don't let anyone else but yourself dictate how short or long it takes for you to move on, just go at your own pace. in my opinion all those things like the three month rule or whatever are just bs lmao know yourself and trust yourself, moving on isn't the same for everyone so don't feel discouraged if it's harder than you thought and don't let anyone call you a bad person if it's easier than you thought. that's all, thanks for reading if u read this <3


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